I grew up feeling this way. Still feel this way many days, but my depression cannot keep me down. I fight every. I wish for things to be easy, to be strong, and sometimes it's impossible. Sometimes I just can't.
Your exit spoke volumes. No explanation, no face to face conversation, after nearly a decade together you were an absolute coward. you don't have the guts to end things the right way. greed is the root of all evil.