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Yep a shit ton of people have had their lives spared because I can't get a good hitman.

Lolsotrue, Some People, Funny, Humor, Tired Funny, Humour, So Funny, Hilarious, So True

Remember this so that if it happens to you, you know that you were the one being annoying. @bamaya1052

Remember, when somebody annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that motherfucker.


Do you know that awesome feeling when you get into bed fall right asleep stay asleep all night and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day yeah me neither

The Best Funny Pictures Compilation Photo

Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.

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Quote: If showing up in a robe and tiara with a box of wine is wrong, then maybe I don't fully comprehend how Casual Friday actually works.

I did learn. The older you get the faster you learn the lesson.

Ohhh emmm geeee bahahha!

funny quote have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered who ties your shoelaces for you

I know right?!

My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT? {i know u will appreciate the dentist humor} ;

Jokes humor funny

funny quote based on how i react when toast pops out, i will never look cool walking away from an explosion. so me

Riley and Company Funny Bones Cling Mounted Stamp, 2" x 1.25", I Swear It Will Be Funny - Walmart.com

Riley and Company Funny Bones Cling Mounted Stamp, 2" x 1.25", I Swear It Will Be Funny - Walmart.com

~I Love Inspiration

Yep -You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands for instance if they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.

Better than who pissed in your Cheerios

Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, Thundercloud? I'm going to say that to the next grumpy person I run into :)

A few more:  A few beers short of a six pack  -One peanut short of a snickers  -A few fries short of a Happy Meal  -Useful as an ashtray on a motorbike - Not the sharpest pencil in the case  -Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he just gargled.  -The lights are one but nobody's home.  -A few coffee beans short of a cappuccino.

Funny Quote - Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead


Funny Quotes : QUOTATION – Image : Quotes Of the day – Life Quote I do not burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day. Sharing is Caring