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Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it. Hahaha I'm not a stalker but this is funny

I dont really kill spiders but as I let him go back outside...his hair did look smashing!

I HATE SPIDERS.but this is funny! I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding.

haha

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna kill- ahh damn! She's under a blanket.

LMAO im a very good speller BUT SOMETIMES i have those days where im like wait a minute how is that spelled and this just made me laugh!

That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like, "I've got nothing man" story of my life

I remember this.....or when it feels like the eyes are following you.

so true. the poster up on the wall above my bed fell down on my face in the middle of the night, and I thought I was getting kidnapped and I would have to fend off the attacker in my pjs! I nearly had a heart attack.

Quote clipped by Gigi :) ❤ liked on Polyvore featuring quotes, words, text, sayings, funny, backgrounds, fillers, saying and phrases

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. This describes my race pace!

Relatable Post #1931:   I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT DRYER LINT IS THE CREMATED REMAINS OF ALL OF MY MISSING SOCKS.

Dryer lint: Cremated remains of missing socks. So true. More here: 20 Hilarious Funeral Humor Memes // Funny

#2841

I call my cat a traitor because he will leave me to go cuddle with my sister.

Little hungry I suppose - Imgur

Little hungry I suppose

When people replace cheesy quote pictures with things about food. Get it right people.

We will find you Josh Hutcherson

one day i shall be an fbi agent. i will find the government database. i will enter in tom hiddleston's photo and find the 7 people who look like him. i will get their adresses. is that stalker-ish? yes, yes it its<< previous pinned said this.

People who hold the door open for you

People who hold the door open for you when you're still 20 yards away, forcing you into an awkward jog of gratitude. Hate this shit

Cheetahs, cheetahs everywhere! - Imgur

Cheetahs, cheetahs everywhere!

Man you're such a cheetah, let's eat some zebra or whatever. Cheetah is also what Tiger Woods changed his name to a while back.

179229260140822276_nfOyafEF_c.jpg

I Don't Need To Flirt I Will Seduce You With My awkwardness. I seriously need to learn how to flirt haha

Hahaha, too many abbreviations these days

LSHMSFOAIDMT = Laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco. You can't make this stuff up.

I don't like thinking of this in the daylight either!

or other scary things that come out in the dark. Like burglars. Or murderers, or clowns. Or spiders, or ghosts.

When I'm rich

25 April Fool’s Day Pranks That Probably Won’t Make You A Terrible Person

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