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I'm not shy, I'm holding back my awesomeness, so I don't intimidate you.

I'm not saying I'm Batman, but you've never seeing Batman and I in the same room. Just saying...

I'm not saying I'm Batman, I am just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same room together.

You know you're too drunk when...

15 Of The Funniest Drunk Text Conversations Ever. Read these im literally dying laughing right now!

This is so true. Usually happens within 2-5 mins after missed call. And I'm all like dude if I call you back within this time frame I expect your ass to answer.

This is so true. Usually happens within mins after missed call. And I'm all like dude if I call you back within this time frame I expect your ass to answer.

I KNOW!

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ecards

Ecard // Noah wrote Allie 365 letters so I think you can answer my text // the notebook

Actually it's me washing the dishes and Adam slowly putting his dirty dishes in the sink

That awkward moment when i'm doing dishes and my family slowly puts their dishes in the sink. All the time :)

Sounds reasonable. - Click image to find more Humor Pinterest pins

"I saw a spider in my bathtub, so I got a piece of tissue & very, very carefully, burned the house down.sounds reasonable to me!

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