Living a life like this drains you. Feeling so alone even when you are with someone. I would rather be alone then lonely with someone else that make you feel lonely. You should never feel that way a relationship.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone." -Robin Williams So true, I used to be in a marriage where I felt all alone.